Invisible Scars
by ProfTweety
Summary: A piece of paper that failed in all its intent; a call from Taylor for her to fix it quickly. One look at her team as they did their after-action reports and she knew exactly how each was affected by this case and how she was too. Actions taken, lives lost, words left unspoken. They all had invisible scars.


_**Invisible Scars**_

 **Disclaimer** : I own nothing related to _Major Crimes_ ; James Duff, et al, has that lovely distinction.

 **A/N** : A piece of paper that failed in all its intent; a call from Taylor for her to fix it quickly. One look at her team as they did their after-action reports and she knew exactly how each was affected by this case and how she was too. Actions taken, lives lost, words left unspoken. _They all had invisible scars_.

 **A/N2** : This ultimately is Sharon's thoughts on each of her team members' reactions to the latest case once it's completed but does, since it's me, lead to #Shandy.

~~~~~PT~~~~~

The case was solved quickly. The piece of paper that had completely failed in all of its intent ultimately solved the crime for them. A man who didn't want to be a father and husband had taken the lives of his pregnant wife and her father as they were driving along a dark road late at night, seeking safety for her and her unborn child. The older man was protecting his daughter from her abusive estranged husband when the anger boiled up in the younger man forever changing the lives of both families.

As Captain Sharon Raydor looked through her office windows, she couldn't help but see the sadness on each of their faces, feel the absolute heartbreak they each felt deep within and realize not for the first time that each and every one of them carried invisible scars.

Certain cases picked at old wounds; brought insecurities to the surface, despair into the light, or tears out into the open where normally none would shine. As she looked out over her team, she saw all the ways those scars shone individually and her heart ached for all of them. When she allowed herself to think about her own scars, her heart overflowed with pain and she fought back the tears for herself, her team and their victims. She thought of all the ways things can go wrong in life and was reminded that life itself isn't guaranteed. Things hidden by fear were a waste of time and energy and only left the living wondering where they stood.

Her gaze went to Andy first; his desk was situated in such a way they could always make eye contact and have non-verbal conversations. He was scratching the back of his neck constantly and rubbing his face occasionally. She kept looking at him until he finally locked eyes with her. The emotions that flashed at rapid speed hit her and she wondered if she should suggest a meeting or if they just needed to spend time together. Maybe both would be beneficial. Andy connected with the father. He was in recovery for twenty years and, according to his wife, had a sense of family unlike no man she'd ever met. It didn't surprise her to find out he'd died protecting his daughter. That was him; that was the man she loved. Sharon decided she'd get back to Andy.

She looked next at Lt Provenza, her second-in-command, who usually doesn't get quiet but on this rare occasion had done just that. He too connected with the father but for different reasons from his best friend. The Lt had four ex-wives and five divorces behind him but kept trying his hand at love. Patrice, he thought, would be everlasting despite his marital history. The father too had a colorful marital past. He was on wife number three but Provenza noticed something when speaking to the widow about her loss. She loved that man and she told him every day to make sure he never forgot. The Lt vowed to make sure he did the same with Patrice because, moving fast or not, belongings in storage notwithstanding, he loved that woman with everything he had.

Her eyes moved over to Amy, her usual cheer was lost on this day. She connected with the daughter. A veteran like herself, believing she could protect herself from anything and anyone. From the position of her body, they knew she died protecting her unborn child. Amy knew she'd do the same if it came down to it. She'd defend herself to the death and do whatever it took to save her children, if she was ever lucky enough to have them.

Next up was Mike, sitting there looking at pictures of his family. His wife and three boys were his life and he understood the father's desire to keep his daughter safe. He thought what it'd be like if he and Cathy had ever had a daughter. She used to tease him that he'd have the cleanest weapon in LAPD history and their girl would never have a guy brave enough to date her. He'd always told her that's how he wanted it; then they only had sons.

She saved Julio for last because she knew her heart would wrench even more for him. Julio had momentarily lost his temper when he'd laid hands on the husband. Given a minute to remember his anger management skills, he'd then sat down across from him and asked him in an eerily calm, quiet voice what happened. As the man explained that he had a bad temper and his wife made him lose it, his boss had gently put her hand on the Detective's arm. The man continued to blame his wife for getting pregnant when he didn't want kids, didn't want her anymore but no one else could have her either. The last straw, it seemed, was her leaving him. No one left him, he'd stated emphatically and Julio felt the squeeze on his bicep from his boss. As she looked at him now, from the comfort and privacy of her office, she saw the pain he still carried, the loss he still felt as if it were that day all those years ago when he lost his wife and daughter unexpectedly and his world turned upside down.

Buzz was quieter than was his norm. He'd lost his father; he knew what that felt like and could relate to the son left behind by this vicious and senseless crime. Never one to interfere while taping a scene, he'd given his card to the son who showed up angry, hurt and bound and determined not to cry for his father because he believed you didn't cry for bravery. Buzz had mentioned losing his own father to crime and offered an ear if he ever thought he'd need it and was surprised when the man agreed. Sharon thought he'd be the most okay of all her team members.

Going back to Andy, she found him looking at her with those sad eyes of his. She wanted to help him feel better, to hold him, and tell it'd be all right once they were alone but for now she just mouthed _dinner_ and saw his immediate tiny nod.

She allowed herself a moment to think about her connection to the case: how she'd protected her belly during both pregnancies while working until the end; how she'd always felt the immediate instinct to hurt whomever brought, or tried to bring, harm to her children; how she kept her emotions to herself as best she could and how that might leave Andy wondering where he stood with her. Her victim's widow had no such issue; she was as open a book as any of them had ever seen. She loved life. She loved her husband and his children. She loved that he died protecting one of his own. Sharon didn't want Andy to wonder what he meant to her.

Gathering up her strength to be their Captain and friend simultaneously, she left her office and headed towards Andy. A simple hand on the shoulder earned her a small smile and she moved on to Amy. A nod of the head was her response as she laid her hand on her arm. Provenza waved her away but she smiled and placed her hand on his arm anyway. That got her a nod and a barely there thumbs-up she almost missed. Tao gave her an obvious thumbs-up and she smiled as she carefully touched the picture still in his hands.

Julio would be her hard one, she thought, always holding so much inside. She understood him though and so she gave him a side hug only to be surprised as he stood up quickly, wrapped his arms around her and apologized for the lack of emotional control. Her eyes stinging with her own tears, she made him promise to never apologize for feelings, for sharing his pain with her, or for missing his family. He agreed as he wiped his eyes, excused himself to his peers and sat back down. She patted his shoulder before gathering their attention, thanking them for a job well done, getting the paperwork completed so quickly and told them all to go home and hug or call their loved ones, whomever they may be.

As they all got up quicker than she'd seen in a long while, she noticed Andy hanging back, waiting for her per his usual. Asking if he needed a meeting, she got a shake of his head indicating _no_ so she asked again about dinner which got her a nod of _yes_. Leaving together, he touched his hand to hers and she fought the instinct to wrap her fingers around his despite still being at work. They gave each other a nod as they entered their own vehicles to make their way to her condo.

Meeting in the garage, she leaned into him and he held her close as they began walking towards the elevator. Once inside her home, possessions in their rightful places, she pulled him into a tight hug letting him know she'd wanted to do that all day as his arms wrapped around her and he buried his head in her hair.

Whispering she didn't want him to wonder how much he meant to her, she steeled herself internally for words she couldn't take back. Once they were out there, he'd know and that frightened her but she was more afraid of him never knowing.

"I love you, Andy," flowed easier than she'd thought it would and she heard his deep intake of breath as the impact of her revelation hit him harder than she'd wanted to believe it might. Looking at him, she saw a slight sheen in his eyes, much the same as hers probably looked to him. "I held back because of Jack but that's not fair to _you_ or to _us_ and if I died today you would never know how very much I love you."

"God, I love you, Sharon," he growled as he pulled her closer to him. She'd seen so many emotions directed towards her over the years but had never experienced this raw, almost primal side of him. "I wanted to tell you," he rasped and she realized he was closer to crying then she'd ever been witness.

"I almost said it," she whispered, "but I held back and then, well, this case made me ask myself what exactly am I waiting for." She managed to look at him, knowing he'd want to hide the emotion as much as she did. "I love you, Andy," she told him, holding his gaze once she finally caught it. "I am so very glad we found each other."

"I love you too, Sharon. I have for a while. I didn't want to rush you but then I didn't want you to think this was just fun." Putting his hand into her hair, he whispered, "Damn, I love you," before covering her lips with his own, drawing her into a deeply passionate kiss. "I'm waiting, _we're_ waiting, I _promise_ you that but I feel so much better now that we've _said_ it."

He smiled at her and her heart melted and the scars began to recede, not permanently though logically she knew there was no reason to let Jack affect her relationship with Andy. "So do I," she quietly assured him as she hugged him tightly once more. " _So do I_."

[The End]


End file.
